Break the Negative Self-Talk Habit — For Beginners or Re-starters

Here’s a reminder from the basics about how to get started getting rid of negative self-talk. The three A’s. Look them over, think them over, and make a choice about whether you want to do it or not! Then I’ll post some beginning ideas for women who are wanting to change into realistic thinkers.



“Breaking the negative self-talk habit doesn’t require a 12 step program — even if you’re addicted.  It starts with the three steps below. Then  you’re ready to try out different techniques and discover which ones work best for you. We all need more than one technique. What works for me may not work for you. It’s good to have a repertoire; different outfits to try on for different circumstances.
Here are the 3 A’s — the starting point.
Acknowledge without judgment,  “Yes, I may overthink, like many other women.” The term comes from the book Women Who Think Too Much by Susan Nolen – Hoeksema Ph.D. and identifies the process of growing negative self-talk, from a simple statement to a huge tangled, intertwined bundle.

Accept as truth that negative self-talk generally does not motivate change or to improve performance. The voice of self-doubt and self-criticism isn’t a tool for increasing self-worth or confidence. If it were effective at producing positive change women wouldn’t still be putting themselves down at age 30, 40, or 50. They would have changed — to be smarter, or thinner, or prettier, or more assertive, or confident and outgoing.

Allow yourself to accept the risk of changing your thinking habits. The worst thing that can happen is that you can’t find techniques that work for you right away. And there are always new ones to try out — like the rubber band technique mentioned in the October 24th 2010 post, or psychological distancing, which works beautifully for many.

You’ll find many techniques by looking in the Techniques Category, The Eliminating Negative Self-Talk Category of intelligentwomenonly.com.